Argument between parents is quite natural. It doesn’t really matter whether you are new in this role or quite an experienced one. Improper sleep, disorientation usually doesn’t take time to manifest into a big ugly fight with your partner. Following are some prior reasons for arguments & some solutions:
Criticizing Each other
Whenever something wrong happens, we never think twice before pointing fingers at one another. We get busy trying to find out our partner’s fault. However, what we really don’t consider is that our own process was not very smart to begin with. Unless it’s a serious issue (like safety or health) try to help each other out by working together to find a more pragmatic process.
Involvement of grandparents
When it comes to grandparents, they are truly emotionally attached with their grandkids, which allow them to let their grandchild get away doing some naughty things, they spoil them by fulfilling their every demands etc. However in such a situation you need to maintain your calm & handle the situation carefully.
Who will get up with the children
Having children means less sleep. It’s very much important to give them company or take care of them when they are awake. Instead of pushing each other to wake up try to plan sleep schedules for each other & make sure both of you stick to your mentioned schedules.
Discipline your children
There are many ideas moving around about instilling some discipline in your kids. However, you need to have your own process. When your process for punishment or praising is different from your partner, then it could leave a much lesser impact on your kids. So firstly you need to be very clear that you & your partner are on the same path when it comes to instilling some discipline in your kids.
Less “me” time
Losing “me” time is another issue that leads to frequent fights. To fulfill this need talk to your partner & plan for some “me” time as well as couple times too. Make sure that your planning is addressing the needs of both the partners.
What have you been doing all day?
When you are a stay at home parent & your partner is working, then you might have faced this wired question before. However, before starting arguments think twice. He/she may not realize the amount of constant chores that a stay home partner has to go through. So sit together after putting your kids to bed & try to figure out some solutions. The solution could be in terms of division of duties or accepting your messy home etc.
Always remember that raising your children is a team effort. This team has different people with different capabilities. You need to utilize the best of your capabilities.